Roake's (Milwaukie OR)
- slurpee
- Feb 26
- 2 min read
Date: February 25, 2025
Location: 18109 SE McLoughlin Blvd, Milwaukie, OR 97267
A real, old fashioned, drive-in Coney Island hot dog stand with a devout following since 1938, Roake’s also serves chili, shakes, malts, fries, and — according to the sign out front — Great Burgers!
I tried the Rich Boy, a 1/4 LB beef patty with cheese, ketchup, tomato, pickle, onions, and burger sauce (mostly mayo) on a big ciabatta bun.
1 Aesthetics — Not much to look at. Before I bit into the sandwich, all I could see was bread, which is to say that all the other ingredients were either too few or too small to reach the edge of the bun. 4
2 Flavor — My credo: even a mediocre cheeseburger is still a cheeseburger! That said, this one was quite bland. The main things I could taste were the bread (which dwarfed the other ingredients), ketchup, and mayonnaise. The beef was dry and overcooked, the thin slice of tomato was absolutely flavorless, and there weren’t enough pickles or onions to even register. 5
3 Mouthfeel — Frustrating. So much thick, doughy bread! So much goop! A thin, chewy, fatty, yet dry meat patty. Zero crispy vegetables. 4
4 Quality/Freshness — Nope. 3
5 Integrity — On the one hand, this was a very sturdy sandwich, due to the overlarge ciabatta bun. On the other hand, it was a gooey mess, with the liberally applied mayo-heavy burger sauce dripping everywhere. The sandwich assembly was also very careless. The meat was off-center and too small for the bun (was it really a full quarter pound?). The single slice of American cheese was only on 2/3 of the patty, leaving the rest hanging, un-melted, over the side. The two pickle slices and minimal chopped onions were all in a clump, and the one very thin tomato slice, like the cheese, was falling off to one side. 3
6 Atmosphere — After 87 years, this joint could use a glow up, sure, but I happen to love old fashioned drive-ins like this, with their nostalgic signage and decor. Both the indoor and outdoor spaces were clean and tidy. 8
7 Service — Very good counter service, quick and efficient, from the gentleman who took my order. I was handed a 6-of-spades playing card and a few minutes later traded it at the window for my burger. Whoever put my order together, however, could use re-training. 6
8 Satisfaction — An unsatisfactory experience overall. 3
9 Creativity/Uniqueness — Meh. 4
10 Value — $7.25 is a very good price, but too much to pay for a mostly mayo and bread sandwich. 4
Sigh. What a shame. I really do love nostalgic joints like this, but based on the low quality and slipshod preparation of my burger, I’m unlikely to return.
Total Score: 44
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